I can’t count the number of times in my life I’ve been hesitant, overcome with fears & doubts & uncertainty; the times I just sat there because I couldn't make a move. Those seem to be the times that weigh heavily on my heart. Like the time that a friend invited me to go with her to England, where her daughter was living. Great opportunity that slipped through my hands like ice cream on a hot day – because I hesitated. Or when I had multiple job opportunities but let the one I really wanted get taken by someone else (but the one I took worked out just fine in the long run).
But just as important are those times where I’ve jumped in with both feet. No hesitation, even if there should have been some (isn’t hindsight just a kicker?). Some turned out great, like the 1927 Spanish style house just a few blocks from the beach we bought “on a whim,” when we weren’t even looking to move; bought because I knew we were meant to live there. Some others were not so great. But when I jumped in, I took action and moved in a direction. No longer stuck in one place.
So, what is the key in all of this? How do I know when to hesitate and when to jump? The answer is that I don’t. Many times I feel as if I’m spinning in circles. I ask for advice from my family and trusted friends. Ultimately, I'm the one who has to choose.
But as I’ve gotten older and more grounded in my life and my faith and who I am, I know one thing for certain. Whether I hesitate or jump, God is right there with me. My rock and my refuge. And "I will put my trust in you." (Psalm 55:26)